Personality tests have fascinated people for decades, providing unique, sometimes entertaining insights into what drives our behaviors and decisions. In Who Are You Meant to Be?, Anne Dranitsaris and Heather Dranitsaris-Hilliard take personality analysis a step further, combining psychology with neuroscience to deliver a fresh perspective on how our unique styles shape our lives. Unlike typical self-help guides, this book invites readers to understand not only what they are supposed to do, but who they are supposed to be. So let’s dive in and discover more about the science behind personality – and maybe a bit about ourselves along the way!
Lesson 1: Shifting from “Doing” to “Being”
A core theme of the book is that achieving our potential is less about what we do and more about how we experience life. Too often, we’re held back by worry – self-doubt, comparison, and frustration – fixating on our shortcomings rather than exploring our unique abilities. The authors emphasize that being is a state, not a set of actions, and aim to close the gap between what we know about ourselves and how we live. Their Striving Styles Personality System (SSPS) incorporates the latest neuroscience, offering a blend of psychological analysis and brain dominance theories. In other words, it’s Carl Jung meets brain science, illuminating how personality styles can guide us from self-doubt to self-actualization.
Lesson 2: Understanding the Brain’s Four Quadrants
The SSPS framework relies on the concept that the human brain has four functional quadrants, each contributing to different aspects of our personality and behavior:
- Left Rational Brain: This quadrant is logical and organized, dissecting information analytically and categorizing the world around us. It’s where we form our self-concept and values.
- Right Rational Brain: Creative and visionary, this quadrant imagines possibilities and visualizes the future. It’s responsible for self-image and is outward-looking.
- Right Emotional Brain: Governing emotions, this part of the brain forms emotional responses to experiences. Whether feelings are based on reality or past memories, they significantly shape our current worldview.
- Left Emotional Brain: This quadrant processes complex emotions with a pragmatic approach, helping us face challenges and stay grounded.
By learning how to activate these quadrants consciously, the SSPS encourages us to harness our full potential and understand our unique blend of personality traits.
Lesson 3: Exploring the Striving Styles
Each person has a primary “Striving Style” that reflects their dominant brain quadrant and a unique set of traits. This dominant style is supported by three additional styles, creating a holistic “brain-blend” that operates across internal and external dimensions. Here’s a glimpse into the eight Striving Styles:
- The Leader: Confident and direct, leaders take charge and feel fulfilled through productivity. Operating from the left rational brain, they value honesty and loyalty.
- The Intellectual: Independent and reflective, intellectuals live by personal ideology rather than external influence. Their approach is grounded in the left rational brain.
- The Performer: Right rational brain-driven, performers are energized by goal attainment and social connections, often pushing boundaries to achieve success.
- The Visionary: Visionaries are creative and imaginative, integrating ideas into grander visions. Right-brain oriented, they strive for deeper meaning and are introspective.
- The Socializer: Outgoing and empathetic, socializers draw energy from connecting with others, living through their right emotional brain.
- The Artist: Often independent, artists value authenticity and create a unique sense of identity through self-expression. Operating from the right emotional brain, they are often introspective.
- The Adventurer: Spontaneous and thrill-seeking, adventurers bring enthusiasm and excitement to any scenario. Left emotional brain-centered, they are quick-thinking and competitive.
- The Stabilizer: With a strong sense of commitment and ethics, stabilizers are grounded and responsible, working from the left emotional brain to support others and create security.
Lesson 4: Protective vs. Actualizing Systems
The authors propose that we have two systems: the Self-Protective System and the Self-Actualizing System. The Self-Protective System, rooted in our instinctual and emotional brains, is driven by survival and often activated by fear. This mindset keeps many people in a state of reaction, where fear-based behaviors limit their potential. By activating the Self-Actualizing System, however, we use a balance of rational and emotional processes to set goals, make decisions, and pursue dreams more effectively.
Lesson 5: Discovering Your Style and Living It
While a blog post can’t fully identify which Striving Style fits you best, Dranitsaris and Dranitsaris-Hilliard’s book provides exercises to explore which styles are most relevant to you. They emphasize that understanding your dominant style and “brain-blend” helps you achieve balance and unlock your full potential.
For instance:
- Leaders are empowered by self-awareness and loyalty but must be mindful of control tendencies.
- Visionaries are inspired by ideals yet benefit from grounding practices.
- Adventurers thrive on spontaneity but find stability through thoughtful risk management.
No matter which style resonates most with you, the key is embracing your full personality – flaws and strengths alike – to live authentically and, ultimately, to become who you are truly meant to be.
Conclusion
Who Are You Meant to Be? by Anne Dranitsaris and Heather Dranitsaris-Hilliard provides a powerful roadmap for understanding the unique patterns that shape who we are. By combining neuroscience with classic personality theory, this book reveals how each of us can move beyond external pressures and fear-driven responses to discover our authentic selves. The Striving Styles Personality System (SSPS) isn’t just about identifying your strengths; it’s a tool for unlocking your potential, helping you move from self-protection to self-actualization.
Whether you’re a Leader driven by purpose, an Artist attuned to authenticity, or a Socializer energized by connection, each style offers insights that can deepen self-awareness and bring balance to your life. By exploring the brain’s quadrants, understanding our emotional responses, and identifying personal strengths, we can transcend limiting habits and step confidently into a life that aligns with our true selves. Embrace this journey of self-discovery, and let your Striving Style guide you toward a life that’s not just fulfilling but truly meaningful.
Are you ready to find out who you are meant to be? Dive into this journey, and start embracing the person you were always meant to become.
Actionable Takeaways to Discover and Embrace Your True Self
- Shift from Doing to Being
- Recognize when you’re fixating on tasks or external expectations. Instead, take time daily to reflect on who you are, separate from what you do.
- Practice mindfulness or journaling to explore your feelings, intentions, and values, centering on self-discovery rather than productivity alone.
- Identify Your Striving Style
- Determine which of the eight Striving Styles aligns with you. Are you a Leader, a Visionary, a Socializer, or another type? Reflect on how your natural style influences your thoughts, interactions, and decisions.
- Take a personality assessment or complete exercises in the book to better understand which styles are most dominant for you.
- Activate Your Whole Brain
- Balance the four quadrants of the brain by engaging in diverse activities. For example:
- To stimulate the Left Rational Brain, engage in planning and organizing tasks.
- To activate the Right Rational Brain, visualize your future goals or brainstorm creatively.
- For the Right Emotional Brain, reflect on your past and process feelings.
- The Left Emotional Brain can be engaged through gratitude exercises and recalling past successes.
- Balance the four quadrants of the brain by engaging in diverse activities. For example:
- Move from Self-Protective to Self-Actualizing Mode
- Notice when you’re acting from fear or self-preservation. Ask yourself if this reaction is necessary, or if it’s holding you back.
- Set small goals that challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and engage the rational mind in planning rather than responding defensively.
- Practice Self-Compassion
- Let go of perfectionism. Understand that your unique style has strengths and weaknesses; embrace both.
- When self-criticism arises, redirect it by listing personal strengths or recent achievements, reinforcing a positive self-image.
- Cultivate Your Associate Styles
- While you may have one dominant style, experiment with associate styles to become more adaptable. For example, if you’re a Leader, practice Visionary or Socializer traits to enhance creativity or relational skills.
- Engage in activities or settings that draw out other styles, like creative projects for the Performer style or group activities to encourage the Socializer.
- Seek Balance in Relationships
- Apply what you know about your Striving Style to communicate more effectively with others. Leaders can practice active listening, while Adventurers can work on follow-through in commitments to strengthen personal connections.
- Balance self-protective tendencies (like excessive self-reliance or defensiveness) by practicing openness, empathy, and trust-building in relationships.
- Focus on Self-Actualization Goals
- Set personal goals that align with your style’s strengths, whether it’s a creative project, leadership role, or a new adventure.
- Regularly revisit these goals to ensure they align with both your logical and emotional needs, reflecting both rational planning and heartfelt aspirations.
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